So I have low key been obsessed with Jocelyn’s energy since we became homies through IG a while back, and she is PURE LIGHT.
Jocelyn is a Gendai Reiki Master, transmuting trauma and pain into peace by connection and dance. She is putting in the work daily, and I am so inspired by her raw authenticity online to open up the space to heal through movement.
We’re heading into a new era of building connection through vulnerability, and Jocelyn is embracing this concept to its fullest.
I am so excited and honoured to have such a kind soul be one of my first features, I just know you’ll be inspired by her story like I was.
I’ve always been an expressive person. When I was young, nothing made me feel more alive than bringing joy to others with my impromptu performances. I needed to express myself almost as badly as I needed to breathe.
After making my first real friend at age 10, I joined her dance class so we could spend more time together. It didn’t take long, however, to realize that dancing made me feel more alive than I had ever felt. It felt like coming home. I had a space to express my heart, what I felt, and who I truly was.
This connection to expressive movement would become my one safe haven in a confusing and isolating inner life as a growing girl.
I always felt like the black sheep of my family, the trouble maker. Growing up, I hid my sexual abuse from my parents for fear of being shamed and punished for what had happened to me. I learned at an early age how to shut down, keep quiet, don’t feel, don’t express, don’t let it out. It was always clear that my feelings were too upsetting to the dynamic of the collective. I caused too many waves. Better not to feel. After all, these people are my forever. I need to make them happy. This belief became deeply engrained into every aspect of my mind, body & spirit. And it hurt. Like taking away all the sunshine out of the sky and all the movement out of the sea.
By the age of 18, I had no skills to cope with my emotions. While I had continued to dance throughout my adolescent and teen years, I began to obsess over dancing the “right way”. So my one saving grace, experiencing who I was through dance, had dwindled. And after losing my family post-coming out, I stopped dancing for 8 years. As a result, the emptiness inside me swallowed me whole.
For years, I became that emptiness.
I wish I could pinpoint the moment I knew I needed to start dancing again. Perhaps it was when I began to see energy workers and each one of them would tell me “your soul needs to dance”. Maybe it was when I would have visions of myself dancing across the cosmos. Or possibly when, after years of therapy, I discovered part of me had died when I stopped dancing.
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter because what was always true was that feeling my emotions by moving my body was essential to my inner peace.
I am at a place in my journey where I am dancing nearly every day. I dance in the car, I dance when I’m happy, I dance when I’m sad. I dance when I don’t know how I’m feeling. Somehow, each step helps me to connect with what my soul needs to be at peace. So often, I find my peace in the movement itself.
When you have PTSD, it can feel a lot safer to focus your energy on not feeling rather than allowing your energy body & physical body to feel any potential trigger that may come along. But what I have come to learn from my own healing journey and by becoming an energy worker myself, is that what we resist, persists.
Dance is not about being talented or skilled. Dance is an avenue of healing available to each and every one of us. When we allow ourselves to open up to the idea of expressing our hearts in such a raw and vulnerable way, we are able to release, feel, heal.
I am not the most skilled dancers in this world, but it matters to me, none. I know that my soul purpose is to inspire others, to share this healing avenue with the world. We can spend our days empty, hollow, and as a bundle of conditioned reflexes. OR we can allow ourselves to connect with how we feel. We can show up for ourselves by being that loving kindness we didn’t have when we needed it most. Each one of us is a dancer and we have the capacity to move through each painful season until finally, we move into peace.
If you were inspired by Jocelyn's story and want to stay connected through her oh so thoughtful daily posts on insta, check her out here.
Want to book a virtual or in person Reiki session? Reach out to her here.